Chasing Cars
by ThatKidFromSchool
Summary: He was lying in the middle of the road like it was no big deal when I first talked to him. Like he was waiting for someone to run him over. I had everything planned before I met him, but he changed everything. I knew what I was going to do with my life, while he did whatever life threw at him. He taught me what it was like to feel alive. He told me that whatever happens, happens.
1. Crazy

**I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

**Chasing Cars**

**Prologue**

I lied down on the thick asphalt road. I stared at the sky, knowing I could get run over at any given moment. I outstretched my arms as if I was making a snow angel. My hair puddled around my face. My lips curved into a smile, reminiscing at how quiet the night was. A couple of months ago, I would have never thought of doing this. Something so preposterous. It was insane, doing this so late. At this point, I didn't care. It was a nice feeling.

I remember the first time I did this with him. I knew it was crazy, but he was so calm about it. About everything. I remember the adrenaline rush I felt when I quickly stood up to save myself from getting hit by a speeding car. When I looked up from the sidewalk, he was laughing at me. The both of us were about to die, and he didn't care a single bit.

He thought me how to let loose. I had my whole life planned out before I met him. I had a daily routine, I always knew exactly what I was going to do everyday. We were complete opposites. He never thought twice about anything. He lived everyday of his life with a new adventure, while I played everything safe.

What was once a one time thing became my new daily routine. Except, I never knew what was going to happen each day. I didn't know how many cars will pass, if there will be someone who will stop to check if I was okay. I came here every night. Sometimes, I saw him lying next to me, just like the first time. I could feel his hand encased in mine, his lips pressed against mine, his arm around my shoulders.

I promised him I wouldn't cry, and I didn't. Only the first hour. I knew he wanted me to be happy when I thought about him, and I am. I only thought about the good times, never the bad. And I had no regrets. I heard a loud honk coming from the distance, and I felt it. The sudden burst of energy escaping me. I jumped up, walking slowly towards the sidewalk.

I waited for the car to pass, before going back to my original spot. Now, I didn't care. Because whatever happens, happens. Life still goes on. And by now, I would have already experienced the one thing I've always wanted.

_To know what it was like to feel alive. To be on good terms with the ones I love. _

_To fall in love. _

* * *

**Chapter 1 - Crazy**

I first talked to him on the night I caught him laying in the middle of the street. I already knew who he was. He was Toby Cavanaugh. He didn't really talk much, but when I saw him lying there. I knew he was crazy.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, freaking out a little bit. I almost ran him over, but I pulled over to the side of the road. He turned his head at me, with a smile.

"Lying down," he answered simply. He said it as if it were obvious, and it was, but that's not what I meant.

I clenched my fists, angry. "Are you freaking crazy!" I shouted at him, while he chuckled quietly at my outburst. "I was about to run you over!"

He shrugged, and completely ignored me. "Would you care to join me?" I walked closer to him, about ready to slap some sense into him. Instead, I grabbed him as I saw the bright glow of a car's headlights, and a loud honk to signal us to get out of the way. We jumped towards the sidewalk as the car sped past us. I tried to catch my breath, but he was giggling. At me.

"Are you serious right now?" Toby's goofy smile didn't leave his face. "Are you even listening to me? You could have died!" I shouted before realization hit me like a bus. "_We_ could have died!"

"But we didn't." He let out his last laugh, walking back to the middle of the street and sitting down. I crossed my arms, and walked towards him.

"What are you doing?"

"Enjoying myself," he told me. "Wasn't that fun?"

"You call almost dying, fun?" He acted as if everything was one big joke. "Are you out of your mind?"

"I think I'm fine," he smiled at me. "Live a little." He held out his hand to me. "Try it with me." I looked at him, in disbelief.

"Why are you even doing this?" I asked him. "This is insane."

"I'm trying to live a little, Spencer," he laughed. "You have to be a little daring sometimes." He reclined his back, using his hands as a pillow. He closed his eyes as if he was in pure bliss.

"This is not daring," I snapped. "This is suicide."

"Would it really matter if I died? Or get injured?" He asked, lifting his head up, his eyes reopening. He used his elbows as a stand to hold himself up. "Life will still go on."

"But you'll be dead."

"True," he agreed. "But life is all about taking risks. If I did die, then it was meant to be. Everything happens for a reason, you know." His blue eyes shined under the moon light. "Nobody lives forever, so why waste any time?"

"You won't have time if you stay here, waiting for a car to run you over," I pointed out.

He gave me the same answer. "Live, even for just a little bit." He patted the spot next to him. "It's not too late to join me."

"I'm going home," I announced, uncrossing my arms, and heading back towards my car. I saw his head fall back, but his smile never faded. "He's crazy," I muttered to myself.

* * *

"Wait," Hanna paused me mid-sentence. "He was in the middle of the road?"

"Yeah," I replied. "And he didn't seem to care that he was very close to dying."

"Guys, give Toby a break," Emily said. "He's really sweet."

Hanna scrunched her nose. "He doesn't really talk much."

"He's crazy. He's insane. He's out of his mind," Hanna and Emily's heads turned upwards, their eyes wide in shock. Their eyes were like screaming at me to stop talking. "He's right behind me." I pressed my lips tightly together, and turned around. "Hey, you're alive!" I said, in the most sarcastic tone.

"I am," he said. He looked straight ahead, then he looked back down at us, and nodded to excuse himself. We watched as he entered his first period class.

Hanna titled her head a little. "You know," she started. "He's actually really cute up close."

"I'm going to class," I said, closing my locker.

Hanna teased a little. "Why so early?" She questioned. "Want to get the seat closest to his before the bell rings?"

I glared at her. "I don't even like him like that."

The blond giggled. "Relax," she said. "I was joking." I rolled my eyes, turning around and heading towards Mr. Fitz class.

Standing at the doorway, I searched around the classroom. I looked for a nice seat closest to the front, but they were all taken. My eyes landed upon the last seat in the second row. I walked towards it until someone took my place. He smirked at me, giving me a small wave. I looked at him in total disbelief as I was now stuck in the back of the classroom. The bell had rung by now, and Mister Fitz began his usual lesson.

It was hard for me to concentrate on the lesson. I hated sitting in the back. It felt as though the back was so dim and dark. Toby just had to take my seat.

"For this book, I'm going to assign you guys partners for a group project," he announced. He picked up his notebook, reading aloud the list of partners. I listened intently, waiting to hear my name get called. Hoping I don't get a lazy partner. "Aria Montgomery and Lisa Parker. Emily Fields and Hanna Marin," he read on through the list until the last two names were called.

_"Spencer Hastings and Toby Cavanaugh." _


	2. Friendship

**I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **

**Chapter 2 - Friendship**

I smile crept up my face as I felt a hand slip into mine as I was walking out the door. I turned my head, and he pecked my lips as we walked out of english. "Hey," I giggled.

"What's gotten you into a happy mood?" Noel asked, his charming smile gleaming. "You're face literally said you were done with everything, when you were stuck sitting at the back of the classroom."

I chuckled. "Yeah, well I guess your presence makes me feel better." I looked up at him with a bubbly feeling in my stomach. He gave me another kiss, his hand squeezing mine. When the kiss ended, I bit my lip and turned my head to find Toby walking towards me.

"Shouldn't you go talk to Toby?" Noel asked, whispering in my ear.

I was confused. "Wait, why?"

Noel looked at me funnily. "Did that kiss all of a sudden wipe your memory of the group project?"

"Oh yeah!" I laughed a little. "I forgot." By then, Toby was standing in front of the both of us. Noel smiled at him, giving him a small wave.

"What's up, Toby?" He made polite conversation with him. Toby didn't have any friends. It wasn't because he was unpopular or a loser, but because he didn't allow anyone to be friends with him. Nobody could really figure out why.

"I was wondering what to do about the project?" He asked me, waving back at Noel.

I thought about it for a moment. "Um, how about you come to my place after school? If that's okay with you."

He smiled. "That works for me," he said as the bell rang. "Uh could I get your address later?"

"I'll give it to you after school at your locker," I said, allowing Noel to lead me to class.

Noel gave him another wave. "Bye, Tobes."

I looked at him, a little strangely. "Since when were you nice to pariah?" I joked.

"He's not an outcast," he said. "My dad and his dad are best friends."

"Do you know why he doesn't want anyone to be friends with him?"

"I think my dad knows," he said, opening the door to our classroom for me. "We used to be really good friends-"

"Ah, Mr. Kahn and Ms. Hastings," Mr. Anderson introduced us to the class as we were a little late in his usually calm tone. "The two of you walk into my class late, talking and being disruptive towards the students who actually came here to learn." He crossed his arms, in feign annoyance. "Which surprises me, Ms. Hastings, you always love to learn something new."

Mr. Anderson was actually a quite chill kind of teacher. He was not afraid to be sarcastic and snide with students, even though we all knew he was just goofing around. He was the teacher Noel and I would always talk to when we are having troubles regarding our relationship, or friends, or anything really. He had dirty blond hair, and crystal blue eyes. He looked a whole lot younger than his actual age. He teaches biology to all seniors, and a few juniors. A lot of girls nursed a crush on him. He normally didn't address our lateness, but today he did which leads me to wonder why.

There was even a time where he allowed us to skip school for the rest of the day. He covered for us the entire day. We never got caught, and there was no damage done to my perfect attendance sheet. We had skipped school that day to deal with some stuff. Settle with the loss of our best friend, Alison DiLaurentis.

"We're sorry, Mr. Anderson. We were caught up in a conversation in the hallway," Noel apologized. He elbowed me lightly in the hip, and pointed with his head towards the back of the classroom. When I turned my head slightly, I saw him. Somebody was observing the classroom. He was probably from the district. "Spencer had to talk to her group partner about a project."

"Very well then," he dismissed us. "Sit down, and please don't disturb the class again."

* * *

At the end of class, the class observer left along with the rest of the class. We stayed back to apologize once again for being late. The observer of the class could have deemed Mr. Anderson as an irresponsible teacher.

"We're sorry again, Derek," I apologized. "I completely forgot your class was under observation."

Mr. Anderson smiled. "It's fine Spencer, Noel. I'm in the clear." The three of us turned suddenly to hear the door open. "Hey, Toby. Free period already?" Toby nodded lightly, taking a seat up front. Noel and I gave Derek a questioning look.

"Why does he spend free period here?" I whispered, so Toby couldn't hear.

He shrugged at me. "Why don't you ask him?" I gave him a look. "He thinks it would be best that he stayed isolated from the rest of the student body," he answered in a hushed tone. "and frankly, so do I, but I wasn't going to make him sit in the guidance office alone."

"Why can't he be with the rest of the students?" Noel asked. By then, Toby turned around to look at us. He had a curious look on his face, probably questioning why we were all talking so quietly. Derek smiled at him, reassuring Toby silently so that he knows there is nothing to worry about.

"You should ask him," he said. "He might tell you both, but for now, the two of you should get going. It's not my secret to tell. I'm sorry."

"We'll see you later, Derek," Noel said, taking my hand as we walked out the door. As we were a few steps out the door, I realized I forgot to give Toby my address. I was about to go back, but decided against it as it seemed as though Toby and Mr. Anderson were deep in conversation. "What's wrong?" The hallways were empty as everyone was in their respective classes, in the cafeteria, or out in the courtyard.

"Nothing, I forgot to give Toby my address," I said. "but they look busy."

"Okay," he smiled. "So where are we sitting today?"

"Hanna said that they are out in the courtyard today," I looked at him. "By the way, we never finished our earlier conversation."

"Which conversation?"

"The one where you said you and Toby were really good friends."

"Ah, that one," he said. "Our dad's were friends so he always came over and stuff. We've been friends since we we're like five years old."

"What happened?"

"I don't know," he answered, truthfully. "In eight grade, he just stopped talking to me all of a sudden. He quit baseball, band, and he cut off all communication."

I thought about it for a moment. "Does your dad know why?"

His grip on my hand grew a little tighter. "I think he does, but he never told me anything. He only told me to leave it alone, and that it was for the best."

"Do you miss being friends with him?"

"Well, yeah," he admitted. "He saved my life once, which was something I never really understood."

"Did you ever ask him why?"

He looked at me, and I can tell his more happy mood from this morning turned into something more pained. "Every time I did, he'd give me a vague answer. He'd either apologize to me or say that it's for the best or something. Our dad's will tell me the same thing. I never got a real answer."

"How and when did he save your life?"

"He pushed me out of the way from getting hit by a school bus," I widened my eyes. "I only made it out alive because he saved me."

"When did it happen?"

"Surprisingly, after he stopped talking to me."

"How could you stop all contact from each other after like eight years of friendship?"

Noel shrugged. "I don't know, but I really don't want to talk about it," he said, as we neared the courtyard. "My dad told me to forget about it, and that's what I'm trying to do."

"But how do you forget eight years of your life?"

"I can't, but both my dad and his believe it's better for me to try and forget about everything," he pulled me behind a brick pole in the courtyard, before we sat down. "Don't tell your friends about Toby and I. It sort of just hurts. We were like brothers. The only friends we had before was each other-"

"You had a lot of friends in eight grade."

"I'm talking about before we joined the baseball team," he said. "It was just the two of us playing baseball in my backyard or video games in his living room."

I leaned up to kiss him. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," he said as if it were obvious.

"About your loss," I said. "and technically we did start dating in the eighth grade."

"That has nothing to do with it," he said. "I didn't ditch him for you or anything. I remember a day before we started going out, Toby and I were planning to prank Detective Wilden." I laughed at that. Detective Wilden was a sort of nutty, clumsy cop in Rosewood. "And then he bailed out an hour after I asked you to the dance."

"Did you still prank Wilden?"

"Actually no, it wasn't going to be any fun without my best buddy." He took a hold of my hips, pulling me closer and capturing my lips with his. My hands reached up and gripped the tail end of his hair. When we pulled away, he smiled. "We should probably get to our friends," he whispered. I bit my lip, smiling. Taking his hand, I led him to our usual table.

"There you guys are," Hanna exclaimed. "Where the hell have you two been?"

"Han, relax," Aria smirked. "They were probably out in some janitors closet doing who knows what."

"We were just talking," I said, sitting down at the table, Noel following my lead.

Hanna looked confused. "You guys talk during sex?" Jason snickered, along with Aria and Emily.

"No, Han," Emily giggled. "They weren't doing what Aria suggested. They really were talking."

"Oh," she said. "Right, I knew that."

"What were you guys talking about?" Emily asked.

I looked over at Noel when he spoke. "Something I really don't want to talk about."

"It's nothing to worry about," I added on. "and it'd probably be really helpful if we didn't bring it up." I looked at Noel, who looked at me thankfully.

"So," Jason began. "How is everyone?"

* * *

At the end of the day, I was walking down the hall when I saw Toby at his locker. I quickly ran towards him, as he looked like he was about to close his locker. "Hey, Toby!" I called. It looked like I scared him as he banged his hand on the locker by accident. I immediately felt bad as I made him drop all of his stuff. "I am so sorry."

He didn't look upset, somehow. I kneeled down and helped him pick up his stuff, one by one. "It's fine," he said, calmly. There was no annoyance in his voice, no catch. He really didn't mind. Although, I saw him quickly pick something up and stuff it in his pocket quickly. I could faintly see what if was, and was shocked to find out. I saw an orange prescription bottle. Why would he try to hide pills, unless-?

"What was that?" I asked, concern etched into my voice.

"Nothing," he said, all of a sudden nervous. "Uh, so the address?" I quickly wrote down my address on some loose notebook paper, ripped off the corner with the information, and handed it over to him. He thanked me quietly, and was about to turn around and head off until I grabbed his shoulder.

"Toby," I began. "Were those drugs?" I whispered, so nobody else can hear.

"It's nothing to worry about, Spencer."

"Why are you taking them?" I asked. "Are you like depressed or something?"

He smiled. "It's nothing to worry about."

"Then why were you trying to hide them from me?" I interrogated. "If you're depressed, you could get help. There are people who care, you know."

"What makes you think I'm depressed, or on drugs?"

"Well you were in the middle of the road yesterday." I countered. "Are you depressed, suicidal?"

He began to walk backwards. "Sure, let's put it that way."

I ran after him. "Come on, Toby. This isn't something to joke about."

"Look, I'm fine," he said. "I'll meet you in an hour for the project thing, okay Spencer? We'll do the project, and that's it. You don't have to meddle in my business. It's nothing serious." He said, running off before I got a chance to say another word.

* * *

**Should probably tell you this is loosely based off a movie I've heard of, but never watched. Mr. Anderson is actually a significant character in this FF. In my mind, I picture him to look like Shaun Sipos, from Life Unexpected, or Vampire Diaries. **

**spoby equals awesomeness: Uh, sorry to inform you, but uh, yeah. This fanfic does end in a tragedy, I'm sorry :( **


	3. Passion

**I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **

**Should probably mention. The entire fanfic will be told through Spencer. She's the narrator of the entire thing. Except sometimes Spencer's retelling the story. Like in the italics, it's Spencer speaking but like future Spencer? Like non-italics is her in the past, and italics is her speaking in the future. Future Spencer is the Spencer that just graduated high school.**

**Chapter 3 - Passion**

When I walked downstairs to open the door, I found Toby sitting down on my couch. "Hey, you're alive."

Toby smiled shyly as he heard me say that same phrase again. _He's going to hear me say it over and over again. Sometimes in a different context, sometimes I'm joking around, sometime's I'm furious with him, and sometime's I'm grateful I can say that line to him again. My mood and attitude when I say it varies as the situations differentiate. _

"So what did you have in mind for the project?"

I scratched my head, trying to think. "You know, normally I would want to get on with the project as soon as possible, but I was thinking we should get to know each other a little more." I flopped down on the couch he was currently seated on.

"Why?" Toby asked. He looked almost afraid, like he didn't want to do anything extra. Nothing personal, just business. _Little did I know then, he didn't want to get close to me. He didn't want me to get to know him, but I did. _

"Well, we are going to have to spend some time with each other," I started to say. "and I don't really know a lot about you."

He looked as if he was about to reject my statement, and try to get us back on track but something changed in him. I guessed he was tired of the dullness that school gave the both of us. "What do you want to know?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, and moved my head around trying to think. I wanted so badly to ask him about Noel and what happened between the two of them, but curiosity did not get the best of me. I thought to give him some space, no matter how much it killed me to try and get the answers Noel needed to get closure. Maybe, he'll talk when he's ready. After all, nobody does anything without a reason. Instead, I started off with something basic, simple. "Favorite color?"

He answered without thought or hesitation. "Dark blue." Others might not have found this odd, but I did. It seemed out of the blue, from such a care free person. Which brings me back to the thought that he could be depressed, or something.

"Why?"

His lips curled up in a smile. "It's the color of the sky at night," he said. "People say the color of the sky is gray or black, but I don't think it is. If you look at it better, the stars almost illuminate the sky to make the night bright. Make the night seem a whole lot less dark, and scary." There was admiration in his tone of voice, it was written on his face too. He turned a basic question, and made it sound almost meaningful. There wasn't a whole lot of people who appreciated the colors, or night for that matter.

People looked at night as something scary. They're often told stories of monsters, dark sprits, or murderers. All these incidents, or accidents seem to always happen at night. We fear the night or the darkness, but it's rare to find someone to appreciate the beauty of something so mysterious.

_Colors are beautiful. It's almost amusing that someone could appreciate the beauty of one of the most simple things we see in life. We don't see people go into detail of how a simple color can be so complex. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, or purple. They're just colors. Doesn't seem too special, but we should treat it as if it were. Enjoy the simple things in life, something so simple as color. There are the less fortunate people who would want to enjoy something so simple as to being able to see the color green, and how it compliments the color brown on a tree. Or blue, the color of the sky, ocean, and as Toby said, the dark night sky. _

"The night sky has always fascinated me, you know," I said. _Then, I didn't really understand or find the beauty of the simple ways of life. Not like Toby did. _"I always loved watching the stars at night, trying to see if I can count them all."

"Maybe, one night we could watch the sunset fade into a beautiful, starry night."

I liked the idea of that, although, maybe not with him. I decided to joke around with him. "Where? In the middle of the road?"

I gave him a semblance of a laugh, but he didn't chuckle. He grinned kind of evilly. "That's the best part of everything."

"I don't think-" I started to object, but then again. Nobody was really forcing me to do this, it was completely optional.

"What's wrong with being in the middle of the road?" I stared at him as he asked the question dumbly. "It's not like we're going to get run over."

"Actually, that is exactly what it's like."

He looked down at himself, holding his arms up in the air as if he were presenting his body to me. "I'm still here."

"Why do you even do that?"

He shrugged, a boyish grin entering his face. "It's fun."

"Yeah because everyone thinks almost dying is fun."

Toby thought for a moment. "You haven't truly lived until you've had your near death experience." He grinned while I simply rolled my eyes.

"Can I ask you something?"

He leaned his back against the couch, sighing. "Depends on what it is."

"Why did you have that prescription bottle?"

"They were just some Advil pills. I had a bad headache last night. Relax, Spencer." He smiled like it was no big deal, but I knew. I knew he was hiding something. He wasn't telling the truth. One minute he's telling me to leave it alone, and the next he's answering me without hesitation. No argument, nothing.

He simply answered the question. As if it were rehearsed. Like he knew I was going to ask.

"If it was just a headache, why was it prescribed to you?" I pressed on. "Advil is an over the counter drug. You don't need a prescription. Especially if it's only a headache."

"I needed to hold the pills in something." He shrugged. "I'm fine Spencer. Let it go." I crossed my arms, exhaling slowly. "And I'm not suicidal, either." He added on with a small grin as if he were joking about something so serious. Although, it faded away quickly.

"So, the project. Which topic do you want to do?"

"I was kind of thinking about studying Franklin D. Roosevelt's speech, if that's okay with you." I smiled. The class was assigned to do a topic based on the 1930's as we were going to read _To Kill a Mockingbird._

"I'd like that. He was actually one of my favorite presidents." I informed him. _"The only thing we have to fear-"_

_"-is fear itself."_ He finished the quote from Roosevelt's inauguration speech.

I smiled widely. "That's one of my favorite quotes of his."

"It might be, but it doesn't seem like you're living up to that." It was like he wanted to challenge me.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing-"

"No, not nothing. What do you mean?"

"I'm not judging you or anything, but from my point of view. You look like the kind of person that would back down, or give in."

"That's not true."

"Really? Would you have been for or against the U.S. going into World War 2?"

"World War 2 has nothing to do with me."

"You probably would have been the one to go against bringing the U.S. into the war. Probably would have wanted to stay away from fighting for something right."

"That's not true, but in my defense. The U.S. wasn't even fit to fight a war. They were in a depression, and there was no money to pay for war funds-" The small chuckle that escaped his lips interrupted my rant. "What?"

"You like to play it safe, Hastings."

"So what if I do?" I huffed in defense. "There's nothing wrong with trying to keep it safe."

He shook his head, changing the subject. "What do you plan on doing after high school?" He asked.

"I planned on going to U-Penn. I've always wanted to be a writer. Marry a good guy. Hopefully have children-"

"That's so boring." He laughed. I crossed my arms. "You've got everything planned out, don't you? What's your back up?"

"Well, if being a writer doesn't work out. I was hoping to become a teacher-" His laugh stopped me once again. "What?"

"You're just further proving my point." He smiled. "You play if way too safe."

"Again I ask, what is wrong with safe?"

"Nothing. It's just- Just that-" He sighed, trying to form his sentence. "You can play it as safe as you want, but not all plans go the way you want it to."

"That's true, but that's why I have a back up plan."

"And if the back up plan doesn't work?" He smirked when he realized I didn't have a come back. "This is what I mean."

"So what? You're just going to lay back while life throws obstacles at your face?"

"That's what I intend on doing."

"College?"

"Never liked school."

"Career?"

"I'm not really good at anything."

"What are you going to do if you have a family? How will you provide for them?"

He answered my last two questions slowly. "I don't plan on having a family."

"Why not?" I asked softly. He answered me with silence. _There were just so many things I didn't know about him. He was always so secretive, so locked up and isolated from the world. I wanted to know everything about him. The more time spent with him was intriguing, but I didn't know how. I just wanted to keep talking to him, know more. And I was determined to find out what he's hiding. _

"Can we just go back to the project?" The way he asked the question surprised me. He lost his voice. He always sounded confident in what he says, like he was always right. As he asked the question, he sounded almost broken. Like he was falling apart.

* * *

"So how was the project with Toby?" Noel asks. I was currently at his house, resting my head on his chest as we lie on the hammock outside.

"It was okay." I answered vaguely. "We chose to research about Franklin D. Roosevelt's speech."

He smiled at me. "Your favorite president."

"You remember." I grinned, lifting my head up to face him.

"How could I forget?" Noel asked, laughing a little bit. "It was probably one of our first ever conversations." I leaned up to kiss his lips slowly.

"The first of many." I whispered. I was laying on my side, with my hand leaning on his chest. I looked him in the eyes, and kissed him again. My hands slowly moved down towards the hem of his t-shirt, tugging it softly. He stopped the kiss abruptly, grabbing my hand.

"Spencer-"

"I want to do this." I whispered. He gulped.

"Are you sure?" He sighed when I nodded. "I don't want you to regret this."

"And I won't." I smiled. "I love you." I climbed on top of him, capturing his lips again.

_I remember when he carried me back inside to his bedroom. At the time, I knew something was missing. I didn't know what it was then. Noel and I were together for 3 years at the time. I was ready, and I felt ready. Except it wasn't right. _

_I don't regret it. I couldn't have asked for a better first time. Noel was the type of guy every girl wanted. Good looking, charming, funny, sweet, caring. Maybe one day I'll come back to him, but for now it's just going to be me. I do love him, but it wasn't real love. It was almost like puppy love. _

_We were freshman's in high school when we first said we loved each other. It was in this moment when I questioned if our relationship was truly real. Something that will last forever. At first I thought it was, but there's always one thing missing. And in this case._

_It was passion._

* * *

**Okay, I am so so so so so sorry to those who actually read this. I'll try to update more often! And the Noel and Spencer scene, yeah I'm sorry. It escalated kind of quickly, huh? lol I'm sorry. This is still Spoby based! And the World War stuff and FDR speeches. Those aren't my views of the 1930-1940's. It's just for this FF. **

**Anyways, thank you so much for reading this! I really hope you enjoyed it! And I'm happy to know if you're still reading this, even after 5 months waiting for an update! You're awesome! -ThatKidFromSchool**

**prettylittlespobyshipper: lol thank you for reading. You'll find out soon! :) **

**Guest: I've never watched Keith, but I've heard of it. :) **

**choose joy xox: Thank you for reading! :) **

**Siretha Elaine: lol I love you :) #TeamJarzria **


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